Friday, October 20, 2017

My Weekend Crush

You know what, I don’t post enough Samantha Bee. I should really, really post more Samantha Bee. And, to make up for it, here is a PSA from Samantha Bee. Yo, cis dudes, this one’s for you. Happy weekend, everyperson who has never shown another human being their dick unsolicited.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Gender Fuck Thursday: Julie Andrews Edition

So while I was on vacation I missed Julie Andrew’s 82nd birthday. This is, of course, an unforgiveable sin. So to make up for it may I remind you that few female Hollywood stars dress in drag better than Dame Julie Andrews. In fact, I’d say only the incomparable Dietrich fills out a tuxedo better, and that’s just by a smidge. So happy belated birthday, Julie Andrews. You’ll always be the queen of everything in my book.

p.s. In case you want to involuntarily (but consensually, so so consensually) lose your pants, please enjoy this gifset.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

The One Where Ross Invents San Junipero

Hey, did you know Ross Gellar could predict the future? Or that Ross Gellar understood exactly what lesbian heaven looked like? Or that Ross Gellar essentially wrote the plot of “San Junipero?” Neither did I. But then, I guess it’s nice to know he is good for more than talking about dinosaurs, whining that “We were on a break,” and screaming “Pivot!

p.s. If you have not watched the “San Junipero” episode of “Black Mirror” a) don’t watch this video and b) what is wrong with you?

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

The Truth Is Gillian

Hello. This is Gillian Anderson. Look at her. Look at Gillian Anderson. Gillian Anderson is the only reason I am still watching “The X-Files.” I really don’t want to still be watching “The X-Files.” Last year the return of the series, after 14 years off the air, was – to be charitable – bad. It was bad. But look at Gillian Anderson. Now consider not looking at Gillian Anderson. Yeah, I’m going to keep looking at Gillian Anderson.

p.s. Thank heavens I can also watch her in an actually good show as well. When does “American Gods” return again?

Monday, October 16, 2017

Listen To 'Em

As the Harvey Weinstein sexual abuse revelations continue to grow in number and horror, it’s important to not feel defeated. Yes, a rich, powerful man got away with sexually harassing, assaulting and – let’s be perfectly frank – raping women for decades. And as much as we can despair that this is just the way the world will always be, it is imperative that we push back against this false prophecy. No, men aren’t genetically hard-wired to objectify and abuse women. This is something they’ve been taught, something that society has ingrained in them as their right. But here’s the thing – it isn’t. And it’s up to us to make sure it isn’t. Every woman, EVERY SINGLE WOMAN, has experience with creepy men. And almost every woman has had experience with sexual harassment, abuse and assault.

So how do we stop it. Well, for one, listen to women. Listen to us when we say, “Hey, that guy is creepy.” Listen to us when we say, “That man acted inappropriately.” Listen to us when we say, “This man is a sexual predator.” Listen to us when we say, “No.” Listen to women and believe women.

And right now, and really always, one of the smartest women to listen to is Emma Thompson. I’ve always loved Emma Thompson. Always, always, always always. I howled, like literally howled, when Emma was among the esteemed artists to sign the letter of support for Roman Polanski. And then I cheered, dear heavens did I cheer, when she rethought her position and removed her name with apologies. This is one of the most clear-headed conversations on the corrosive culture of female objectification and toxic masculinity I’ve heard in a while.

Now this is not to say Emma’s is the only or the best voice to speak out about sexual abuse and harassment. In fact she acknowledges as much, saying women of color have it much harder and owning up to her own past mistakes and privilege (re: Polanski). But this, this kind of unabashed and straightforward truthfulness is what we need on an issue that for far too long has been swept under the rug as just part of business as usual. This is what happens when you put men and women in a workplace/the public/any shared space/the universe together, right? No, fuck that.

And while we’re at it, fuck Harvey Weinstein. Fuck Roman Polanski. Fuck Woody Allen. Fuck Bill O’Reilly. Fuck Bill Cosby. And fuck Donald Fucking Trump. Fuck all male predators. May women like Emma Thompson and the rest of us be the meteor racing toward all these dinosaurs spelling their imminent and total extinction.

Friday, October 13, 2017

My Weekend Rage

It really isn’t that hard to be a decent human being. Or, at least, it shouldn’t be that hard. Treat people with respect. Be kind whenever possible. Help those less fortunate. Fight for justice for all. Stand up against those who oppress, demean or exploit others. If you’re feeling particularly ambitious, maybe floss.

Sadly it comes as no surprise that people do not always do these things – let alone the flossing. And it will come as even less of a surprise that men can be trash. Yes, yes, I know – there goes another man-hating lesbian on a rant about hating men.

In the wake of the revelations about film honco Harvey Weinstein’s horrific, decades-long sexual abuse and assault of women, it’s beyond time to ask ourselves why men do these things to women. Why do men feel entitled to violate women’s bodies in this way? Because they always have? Because they always can?

Rape culture is real, and causes real harm. These aren’t just a few “old dinosaurs” learning to navigate the new, confusing mores of the modern world. This is deeply ingrained belief that women and our bodies are made primarily for male consumption and satisfaction. That it is therefore normal for men to aggressively assert themselves over women. Consent is for pussies, amirite? And, anyway, women claiming to be victims of sexual violence are somehow asking for it. I mean, why did she wear that? What did she think going up to his room? Don’t they know that’s how the world works? Or, conversely, why didn’t women come forward sooner to stop it. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Just fucking damned.

But it’s not normal, none of this is normal, and we should fight this toxic culture at every turn. The men, particularly powerful men, who feel they hold dominion over women’s bodies must be unequivocally purged from public life. The Harvey Weinsteins. The Bill Cosbys. The Roger Aileses. The Bill O’Reillys. The Donald Fucking Trumps.

It really isn’t that hard to be a decent human being. Don’t sexually harass women (or anyone). Don’t invite us to your hotel room for a business meeting and greet us in nothing but a bathrobe and then demand a naked massage. Don’t pop into our dressing rooms uninvited. Don’t jerk off into a potted plant in front of us. Don’t grab us by the pussy. Don’t tell us we’ll love your dick. Don’t send us unsolicited pictures of your dick. Really don’t do anything with your dick in a professional setting, ever. Don’t, and I can’t stress this enough, rape anyone. Seems crazy to have to say it, but here we are.

Be a decent human being. Teach young and old men to be decent human beings. Believe women, support women. It’s the only decent thing to do. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Paradise Island

Kittens, I’m back! While I was away Gal Gadot kissed Kate McKinnon. That’s right, Holtzmann and Wonder Woman totally made out. Yes, everything is garbage or on fire or a garbage fire this year, but at least we have this one good thing.

p.s. I don’t care what those Amazons say, this lesbian would gladly paddle to Themyscira to make sure myself.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Vacation Vixen: Hillary Clinton/America Ferrera

Imagine how much better you’d feel right now if these two women were having this conversation at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue instead.